Truth Chasing Ahab

February 10, 2011 § 1 Comment

I’ve been rather uninspired this week–not willing or ready to start filing through my closet like the jettison maniac I’ve been for the past month or so. Tonight, I get rid of a six-pack of harpoon bottle caps.

Honesty is the best policy. I’ve always known there was truth to that addage and tried to live with that in all aspects of my life. But when things are difficult to address, we often plunge the truth into the sea of our subconscious hoping for it to disappear. It’s naive for us to think that as the days, weeks and years blow by, we’re safer from the truth that we’ve shoved away. We’re often unaware of the havoc it has caused in other aspects of our lives, as the tides of our subconsciousness shift, sway and shutter. A mere disruption in our lives can bring the buried truths to the surface. It’s our job, like that of Melville’s Ahab to search for them and harpoon them in the hopes that they won’t be large enough to take us down to the depths of the darkest regions of our psyches with them.

I’ve speared some lost truths this week. And, I think, I have emerged from the depths sputtering, waterlogged and for the most part fine.


Retroactive Yuletide

February 9, 2011 § Leave a comment

What am I jettisoning tonight?? Unsent Christmas cards! That’s right, for all of you that were expecting a Christmas card and didn’t get one this year, it’s because I didn’t have a complete address and didn’t see you over the season. I’m sorry. So if you want one this year, please send me a current address.

“A Turtleneck? Really?”

February 8, 2011 § Leave a comment

Honestly, one of the reasons I’m getting rid of this top is the fact that I would never have anywhere to wear it. Even if I did, I would probably elect to wear something more conservative. Is it terrible that I’m less and less willing to show off my skin?

It’s not because I’m not in pretty good shape or feel bad about my body, it’s simply that I’d rather not get any attention in that department. Going out with friends a few weekends ago, I was wearing some clothes that I would’ve described as young, professional garments that were close-fitting and sleek. While at a club a nice gentleman leaned over and asked, “A turtleneck? Really?” It dawned on me that I’ve been hiding myself away and I don’t really know why.

Then I realized that I’m entering that time in my young professional life that I want to be respected and noticed for my talents not my ability to pull off a super tight pencil skirt or a plunging neckline. But really, the dude was right at the club, no one is going to respect your intellect in such an establishment. When he said that, whoever he was, I felt old(mature) for the first time in my life. As I approach my quarter century birthday, don’t know if that’s okay to feel right now. Is it ever okay to feel old?


February 7, 2011 § Leave a comment

Everyone needs some catharsis now and then. While I’m not so much into the dramatic arts, when things hurt, they hurt. I jettisoned a lot of tissues tonight. And to be honest, if I weren’t so stubborn about keeping my postaday resolution, I wouldn’t be posting at all. That’s the tricky little thing about blogs–especially regular ones. There are days when you just don’t have anything together and would rather hide than post publicly. But alas, here we are and you have to see me at my most vulnerable.

The only thing I can say is that regardless of who you are–whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist, a cynic or a hopeless romantic–the hardest thing having to watch the dreaded inevitable become tangible, to witness its advent, to hear it spoken out loud.

Tonight I am breathlessly hoping for regeneration, for strength, resolution and peace and yes, catharsis.

Toodeloo, Minnie Yoo Hoo

February 6, 2011 § 1 Comment

Polka dots became fashionable right around the time heyday of polka dance. The fabric pattern always reminds me of Disney’s Minnie Mouse. I had a brief obsession with Minnie as a 3-year-old. The character was on my bedding, I dressed up as her for Halloween and my parents often played a version of the Minnie Yoo Hoo to watch and dance to.

This unmentionable may be pink and polkadotted but that’s about all the harks back to the days of childhood innocence. Toodeloo, Minnie Yoo Hoo.

Not Even the Dark of Night

February 5, 2011 § 1 Comment

Sometimes we can jettison things that are unpleasant–things that should never see the light of day or the dark of night. I would love to give you something definite and definitive but unfortunately, in the next half hour, all I can commit to getting rid of is B.S. that pervaded the latter half of my day and the festering truth that inevitably came out. I’m not ready to utter it yet–not even to the people who know me best.

There are times when we can find it easy to stray from the well-planned path that we had for ourselves. Today, because of the weather and my mood, I diverged from the plan. I could see the doom of the moment encroaching–something I had specifically warded off for many stress-filled days and sleepless nights. And today, like a deer in the headlights, I stood stopped in the middle of another path, abandoning all my cares and sickeningly enthralled by the pain that awaited.

Because of this truth that I jettisoned/purged, I don’t expect the rest of my days to be the same ever again. Sometimes the truth deferred, rotten and putrid, is the worst possible thing to shed light upon.

A Defense of Beige

February 4, 2011 § 2 Comments

Tonight I rid my closet of another unmentionable in the shade of beige. The color beige has been under some serious attack in the past several years. Whether individuals believe it to be the most boring (non) color or merely associate it with corporate yuppies, tonight, I am going to discuss why it may have become scum on the lips of the masses.

According to a little site called, 44% of people hate beige. This sample of 213 people was taken directly from twitter and facebook comments merely using the word with the word “hate.” Not “dislike,” or simply “not care for,” but rather some intense hatred. From comments on the color of jeans to bathroom tiles, to a simple misspelling of “being,” people hate this color for being drab. What did beige do to get this type of abuse?

The term beige actually came about in the English language in the late 1850’s referring to the natural color of fabric as it appears undyed. In a little over 100 years it became a slang term synonymous with boring and insipid. We can blame the psychedelic generation for their love of loud colors. However beige is a much more powerful color than we give it credit for.

In our modern conception, ‘beige’ can be any part of speech. That in and of itself creates a lot of power. But the color itself has come to be defined as a classification in its own right. According to our sage source of collective wisdom, Wikipedia, we can cite that beige was acknowledged as a ‘color’ in 1887 and has since risen to be classified as the average hue of the universe donning the term ‘cosmic latte’ by Johns Hopkins University, ‘desert sand’ and ‘ecru.’ To me this is evidence enough that beige is a mighty enough force that educated collectives have created so many words to mask its incessant hatred.

Is a beige by any other name as foul?